It ain’t easy being a pimp

Last night I was chatting up multiple guys. 

Tonight? Zero. 

I’m getting ghosted.


I’m *almost* sleeping with someone

Okay guys. I’m torn right now. 

For anyone who’s been following my antics you know that I’m just establishing myself in a new city as a single, decently average looking lady. And I’ve been spending minimal time using some dating apps (seriously, I jump on maybe once a week) swiping some cuties. And I matched with this one guy. 

He’s nice. And intelligent. And cute. And I think he has a lot of money (which never hurts). But he also dabbles with hard drugs. 

Now. I’m not looking for a husband. Or a baby daddy or any of that shit. I’m not here to tell anyone how to live their lives, especially someone I barely know. But it honestly terrifies me.

It’s not something I’ve been exposed to. And he does it maybe once a month (or so he says). So here’s my struggle: as some one who has never dabbled in that way, and someone who does not support that habit, can I continue to have a potential hook-up situation with this guy? It would never be more based on that fact alone. But am I okay with it enough to still get what I need from him? I told him I don’t want to be around while he’s on stuff or when he does it and I don’t think that’s asking too much. 

Here’s the other thing; I think he may be looking for something more. Last night he told me I’m his dream girl. And then he asked me if I would ever consider moving to the states. I’m not saying he’s in love with me, he hardly knows me, but can I in good health go into this with a straight mind knowing for me it’s nothing more because of his habits? Or is it going to complicate things in the long run?

Forever an Instigator

Okay. So the forbidden fruit. Quote unquote. 

Hypothetically lets say there is someone who you know you shouldn’t date. Whether it’s a good friends ex, or a sibling of your BFF or a coworker, or hey, maybe it’s someone in a relationship (I’m not here to judge, you can judge yourself) the forbidden fruit is always so tempting. 

Is the risk worth the reward? Is it something worth taking a risk for? 

I think it’s dependant on each situation and you really need to make your own choices. For me, there’s a sweet apple on a table. And I kind of want it. I know I shouldn’t. I know it could be bad for me. And honestly for him too. 

Someone from my past reached out to me. And I’m not going to say anything else about how I know him, but we chatted for a bit and to me, there seemed to be some sexual tension in the chat. So I asked my girlfriend to decipher. 

I’ve put the initial flirting on him. He started it. But she pointed out to me that I may have instigated it too. I said I just looped back to the topic. Which okay, I did do that. But I wanted to see if he was serious. It sounds like he was. 

I’m also horrible at reading people. Maybe I’m misreading the tone, because text is impossible to convey tone. So do I go with no intentions of it being anything but catching up with a friend? Or do I tell him I can’t due to the forbiddenness of the situation, and then be really uncomfortable when he says it wasn’t like that? Part of me wants to say don’t go because I know it could impact both of us negatively, however, he said he wants to take me to a high end steak house … and the girls gotta eat.

Hump Day

Guys. I can’t help it. I have a massive camel toe. 

I’m sorry. Well not really. #sorrynotsorry

I’ve tried different pants. Different gitch. Different heights. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve even dubbed the nickname “toes” from it. 

My life is a mess, but one consistency is me having that toe. 

Why she’s my bff

Tonight I spent over three hours on the phone with my best friend. She’s been my ride or die since I was three, we are now twenty four. But enough background on that, here are some reasons why.

1. She initiated and closed the deal on a booty call while on the phone with me. 

2. She pooped while on the phone with me. 

3. She kept me company while I bought light bulbs, went grocery shopping, and got dinner. 

4. She put up with me ignoring her while I attempted to catch a Jynx on Pokemon go (fact: it got away after wasting 5 balls)

5. She let me call her ugly (even though she’s a solid 13/10 on a bad day). 

6. She didn’t call me a complete moron when I casually dropped that I’ve talked to my ex somewhat recently. 

7. She gave me great dating advice (it was, if you only have time for one thing, brushing your teeth or shaving your legs before a date always pick brushing your teeth). 

8. She talked to me for over three hours, and I feel like half the time we weren’t even talking but she didn’t hang up. 

9. She lets me send her all my tinder matches and confirms whether he’s cute or not (some pictures are deceiving). 

Reasons why she’s not my best friend

1. She wouldn’t let me just stay on the phone while she hooked up with this guy. 

Honestly I kind of get that one but still…